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5 Confidence Sapping Words To Ban From Your Vocabulary

Updated: May 3, 2022

The words that we use have power: the power to strengthen our resolve or diminish our self-belief. Spend a day and really pay attention to the way that you speak to yourself. Are you your own cheerleader or do you put yourself down? If you notice the latter, ask yourself, would you speak like that to a friend? Of course you wouldn't!

Let's take a look at five confidence sapping words that need to be thrown into Room 101 and explore some alternatives that will boost your self-confidence and fire up your inner cheerleader.

Word #1 - Should

This word is all over social media and shows up in business and personal conversations all the time. Have you ever said something like this…"I should post on 100 platforms on social media!", "I should stop eating chocolate” “ I bet you have! We all have because ‘should’ is like a mosquito…always buzzing around and pointing out all the things that are wrong.

Should is a word dripping in guilt, fear and comparisionitis. Instead of following the crowd show yourself some compassion and ask if this decision, course, or investment is something that you really need. Does it feel like it will make a difference for you and help you take a step towards your goals? If the answer is yes, then go for it. If it is a NO, then maybe it isn’t the right time or it isn’t the right fit for you.

Take actions because they work for you and not because a guru told you that you should.

Word #2 - Just

JUST is a small word but has the power to seriously diminish your power. I've heard some great teachers say that "I am just an ESL teacher. Who is going to pay me for that?" You can substitute the job title for anything and you get the same thing - a lack of self-belief.

But, lets take a minute here. Get out a pen and paper, and write down all your strengths, skills, knowledge, experiences, client successes, and personal wins.

When you have finished writing take a moment to look at your list! Just doesn't come into it! YOU ARE AWESOME and can really make a difference in someone's life!

Let's lose just and harness the power of "I AM"

For example,

  • I am a coach.

  • I am a health and wellbeing coach.

  • I am an awesome health and wellbeing coach.

  • I am an awesome health and wellbeing coach who helps my clients love their bodies.

Lean into this and become your own inner cheerleader.

"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love." – Brené Brown

Word #3 - Try

Master Yoda hit the nail on the head with this one. You take action or you don't, there is no in-between.

When I hear people saying that 'I will try' their voice always sounds quiet and weak. This is because 'try' usually means that you don't believe in yourself or abilities, or that you don't really want to take that action. Either way there is a lot of fear at play. We don't know what will happen, but that is part of the fun of it.

Replace 'try' with 'I am willing' - it is much more empowering and offers more possibilities.

  • I am willing to do videos

  • I am willing to take action

  • I am willing to make a change

  • I am willing to start a business

Then take action

Confidence comes from repeated actions. Take the first step and then go from there.

Life is trial and error and if you really want to make a change...don't try....DO IT and learn all the lessons that show up along the way.

"Do or do not! There is no try! - Master Yoda

Word #4 - Can't

Can't is a word created to capture fear. Think about all the times you have said the word over the years and ask yourself if you were talking about things you really knew you didn't have the skills to do.

Where was the evidence that you couldn't do it?

It is not a cliche to say YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO, because it is true. There are always solutions and if you want something to happen, you will make it happen.

Instead of saying I can't, take the time to visualise your goals and then GO and MAKE it happen. Sure, it might not be comfortable stepping out of your comfort zone, but keep telling yourself that 'I HAVE GOT THIS' and watch the fears fall away.

Word #5 - Never

If you ever catch yourself saying "I will never", then ask yourself what evidence you have to support that!

"I will never be successful"

"I will never have enough money to buy my dream house."

"I will never sell my online course."

Why not? Where is the evidence?

You have all the tools to achieve any of your dreams. Look around you - The world is full of stories of people that refused to accept 'never' as a possibility. They tapped into their resilience, got to work and took actions until they reached their goals.

If you catch yourself saying "I will never..." replace it with "I haven't done it yet". Adding the world yet to sentences is a powerful way to focus the mind and remind yourself of your goals.

I haven't sold my online course yet, but I am doing all I can to make it happen.

I don't have enough money for my house yet, but I am taking actions to make it happen.

Much more empowering stuff!

Focus On Your Strengths

Learn to become your number one cheerleader and this will increase your levels of self-belief. Self-belief will infuse your content with awesomeness that will sing out to your audience. Your confidence will let them know that you are the person that they can trust to help them. And, that's a win-win for everyone!

Want to build up more confidence to share your awesome content and messages with the world? Click Here to book a virtual coffee and a chat.

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